Monday, April 03, 2006

An Open Letter

To the person(s) that thought it would be profitable, entertaining, or otherwise to break into my car:

I really hope that you enjoy the three CD’s you stole. The classical piano interpretation of Leonard Bernstein’s West Side Story by Richard Bayless has been one of my favorites for many years.

As you might also be able to tell from that which you stole, I am a big fan of classical music from the Romantic era. Certainly, you are now the proud owner of some very fine music. I hope that it brings you as much joy and happiness as it brought me. However, I must say your job was somewhat sloppy, as the best CD in the collection was still in the CD player. Shame on you for not checking.

As for the parking/ID cards that get me into my workplace, that was just mean. I do not think those cards will be of much value to you, as they will not be active here in an hour or two. Besides, there are not very many pawnshops near to my workplace, so you would have a ways to walk even if you did decide to use my parking pass.

May the golf clubs that you stole out of my trunk, bring you many hours of enjoyment on some of Salt Lake’s finest greens. Perhaps your life is less busy, and you will find more time to use them than I did. I found that golf was a great stress reliever, and a way to ‘vent’ when frustrated. I did not hit the course as much as I would have liked to, but I did find the driving range quite therapeutic when I did not have time to actually play the game.

After you got the CD’s, my work ID cards, and my golf clubs, I think that you should have been quite satisfied. I am not sure how much loose change was in my ashtray, but did you really need what was there. I am sure it amounted to less than anything else that you took last night. Besides, I usually use that as money to give to beggars. Had you asked, it certainly could have been yours.

This whole thing has been a bigger inconvenience for me than anything else. I am more pissed about the work Id cards, and the golf clubs than the music. I sure hope you use them, as if it is all for drug money you really are (a) looser(s).

Thanks for not breaking the windows on my car, that would have been even worse. I am curious however to know how you got in without setting off the alarm, as I know the car was armed. Some time, you will have to share your trick.

Peace Out,

Me
the ornery car owner

4 comments:

Michael Sarver said...

Sorry to hear about your tale...

rfin said...

I've been just angry about the theft, but somehow your post here has brought me some peace. I congratulate you on putting this in perspective and thank you for helping me do the same.

Anonymous said...

I hope you were being sincere in thanking him for not breaking the window.

Had he cut himself on the glass, you would then be a prime target for a lawsuit!

Joe said...

Oh yes... sincere, very very sincere.