Wednesday, December 28, 2005

On Break (numb)

Fall semester has been over and done with for nearly two weeks now, and I am still somewhat numb to the whole experience. I did however pass my classes.

Christmas came and went with its usual fanfare, food, and entertainment. It was nice to be with the family, to relax, sing carols, think on the blessed lives we live, and try to focus more outwardly than I am usually inclined. Life has its comfortable moments, and though I am not perfectly content with every aspect of my life, I must say that things are hopeful.

The last week of the year is an interesting time. If one approaches it with the right attitude, it can be a great time to both reflect and look forward. Hopefully, if I can keep myself motivated, I will be able to have a post about the past year, and another about my hopes and aspirations for the year approaching in the next couple of days. There is something truly cathartic about the ushering in of a new year, and I am really looking forward to it. We should all be focused on self improvement continually, and certainly reaching one’s goals doesn’t happen just because they outlined them on December 31 of the previous year; but it is helpful to use the demarcation of a year as a good boundary for an in-depth checkup. I am looking forward to 2006 with pleasant anticipation, but more about that later this week.

Last night I was at a dinner party, and the conversation turned to journaling and writing. It was interesting to see how the different people around the table felt about what it takes to produce something that is worth sharing with the world. I must admit that in recent months, I haven’t felt much motivation to write this blog. It is not that I don’t enjoy it when I do write. And I really love reading comments (thanks Michael), but it seems like I haven’t had the time or desire to thing and write about anything meaningful, and the last thing I want to subject you to is something that is just the ramblings of my thoughts (much like this article is turning out to be). At least the topic of conversation inspired me to sit down and write, which is a task I haven’t felt up to in recent weeks.

As the title says, I am on break. Usually when I am between semesters, I have a large list of things that I want to get done; be it diving into my stack of unread books, a personal programming project, going on a day trip to take photos, spending a day in the darkroom to enjoy the analog process of photography, or working on any kind of project that just wouldn’t suit itself well to my life while I am taking classes. But this break is turning out to be just that, a complete break. As I explain it to people, I say that it is like being numb. Sure, I have been working 8 hour days for my employer (because otherwise I will be more destitute than I already am), but when I get home I have no desire to work on any side projects. I don’t know why, but that is the way it is. My numb Christmas break.

I would sill like to get out for a photo trip, maybe half a day or something of the like. But time will tell, and as it sits, I have 12 days before I have to face the rigors of school again. Optimistically when the time comes, I will be adequately rested and ready to go. Until then, I’ll still be on break.

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