Thursday, February 17, 2005

A Brief Update

Monday: My cousin passed away after a tragic battle with a bacteria that she just couldn’t fight off.

Tuesday: Classes at school, studying at the library in the evening.

Wednesday: Class in the morning, went to work, spent the evening in the library studying.

I have been rather distant for the last few days. It is not for lack of having things to say; it is more a case of not knowing exactly what to say. Life is extremely busy, and there has been a lot going on. I am finding that pretty much the only way to get the school work done in a timely manner is to put in the hard time. The advantage is that I know that I am doing a thorough job.

Tonight I had the opportunity to go to a Linear Algebra review session that my professor was teaching. Interestingly, and lucky for me, I was the only one who showed up. Really, it was quite the opportunity. 1:1 tutoring with the professor is not something that a student gets every day. It was nice to be able to ask questions and have them answered and re-hashed until he was sure that I understood.

I wish I didn’t have such a love-hate relationship with mathematics. I love the journey so much, yet it pains me greatly to do the homework. The stress of the exams and the strains that I go through to learn it would seem to make me want to leave it as soon as I could. Yet, I am taking this class of my own elected volition. Am I just a glutton for punishment? Why do I like it if it hurts so much? Should I finish the minor? Tremendously interesting, but I should probably come back down to earth and remind myself that I have had a math tutor to help me since I was in 8th grade. With all of this help, I get by. Could I actually pull it on my own?

Lots of questions, and not a lot of answers, at least not tonight.


Anonymous said...

So sorry about your relative! but I take it you weren't that close?

Joe said...

Perhaps my lack of words and emotion would cause one to think that I was not close. I tend to take matters of family very personally, and don't like to play them out in public. I have always been close to her and her family. I think though that my personal route of coping is silence.