Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Humble Pie

Humility is a good thing, especially for a sophomore in computer science. Just because you were able to do some pretty fancy things in your freshman year with Java says that you are able to learn and program in an object oriented style, but does it say much more than that? I did well in those classes, got an A one semester and an A- the next. I was feeling confident, and maybe to some small extent I thought myself a programmer.

Well seeing my first assignments in Software Practice and Computer Organization are really challenging my feelings. I feel trapped, desperate, and a good deal of frustration. Today I sat in lab trying to follow the TA, who was moving at a lightening pace, set up a project from scratch, link the DLL’s, set certain variables within Visual Studio. I almost gave up.

Digression: I now know how some people feel when I quickly walk them through something on their computer and they tell me that I moved too fast, or that I didn’t explain it well enough. That pit in your stomach that you get when you know that you aren’t following, or when the demonstrator is assuming you know more than you do. It is something to think about the next time I am trying to help someone out.

Meanwhile I am still trying to follow the TA but am still five or seven steps behind. I was so frustrated, screaming or crying both felt natural. There is so much that I need to learn. Our professor said that there would be quite the whirlwind learning tour but I had no idea it would be so much so.

I have this rather large looking assignment due next Tuesday, all supposed to be programmed in C++. I feel overwhelmed.

To add to the stress, how good are you at binary, hex, and assembly? Yet another class, with an equally frustrating assignment. Thankfully that one is due tomorrow. Hopefully, I can wrap it up tonight, or tomorrow during the day. Then off to C++ land.

Just incase the computer stuff wasn’t enough, I have a Linear Algebra quiz on Tuesday (the same day my c++ program is due), along with the homework from the first chapter in that book.

I may as well just lock myself away. I feel so vulnerable and out of control. Hopefully, I can get a handle on this soon.

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